Fall Beans

I have no q-tips. Yesterday I stopped in a store (rhymes with fall beans) to pick up some q-tips, but what I found was a nonsensical store layout, not q-tips. I walked up and down every aisle twice before giving up and leaving. I found the aisle that has the paper products and pet food (dog, cat, and bird). The toy and small appliance aisle. The aisle with tampons, nasal spray, eye drops, and crutches. The aisle with shampoo and diapers. But no friggin’ q-tips. I would have asked an employee, but fall beans is surprisingly busy on Father’s day, particularly the greeting card, foot care, and diarrhea aisle. I’d like to meet the group of drunken monkeys that came up with the planogram for this place. And I’d really like some frikin’ q-tips!